dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
