Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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