She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize