she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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