I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
