i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
