Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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