you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
