Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
