Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
