no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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