going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
