dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
