did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
