i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
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I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting