Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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