we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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