i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
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Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!