i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.