we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
cat food counts as protein by the way
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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