would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
