Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my liver is dry heaving
YAS. BRING CRAB.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
