I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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