There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
