i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
