didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
