last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize