they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
