She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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