I bet he comes in French.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize