I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i've created a new STD.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
