I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
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We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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