he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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