You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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