IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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