dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
