..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
