my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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