Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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