wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
