Sry I called you an 8
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
