So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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