ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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