I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
