I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
