If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
