He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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