when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
