her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize