I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
