last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
