I cannot find my penis.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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