Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
