I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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