i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
