She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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