She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize