okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
