The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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