I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
