In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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