At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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