so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
did you just send me my own nude
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
