just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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