for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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