Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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