i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize